Today I was reflecting and thinking about a place in my life two and a half years ago where I found myself utterly hopeless and defeated. I was in a prison cell processing through my past life and decisions trying to figure out just how it all went wrong, and how I was going to possibly get through the coming months. I had no answers...its sad to think just how helpless and hopeless I was when the realization finally came to me that I really had no clue how to live any other way than the party lifestyle that completely failed me. It was a crutch, a way for me to escape to another reality where I no longer had to deal with the demons of my childhood. A lifestyle which allowed me to be something other than me, I had friends, top shelf alcohol and drugs, which lead me on many a great adventures. However right then and right there in that prison cell all those things were meaningless, the friends were gone, no more adventures, and worse yet I had the demons of my past there haunting and nagging my heart unchecked.
It was in this state that I was led to pickup the Holy Bible and in the word of God I found stories of men who like me had not led great lives yet God loved them all the same. It was through the word that the Holy Spirit began to transform my dead hardened heart to one filled with willingness and hope. I continued to read about those me in the Bible who were being redeemed back to God, and even though their lives got hard and trying they continued to put their faith in God. In Him they found meaningfulness, a way of life that is truly life as it was intended to be. This is the faith that I hold onto until this day, one of grace, love and transformation only found in Jesus Christ. A way of life in which I don't feel the need to fill my life full of meaningless things because those things no longer define me.....today I have peace knowing that I am only defined by Christ.
It was in this state that I was led to pickup the Holy Bible and in the word of God I found stories of men who like me had not led great lives yet God loved them all the same. It was through the word that the Holy Spirit began to transform my dead hardened heart to one filled with willingness and hope. I continued to read about those me in the Bible who were being redeemed back to God, and even though their lives got hard and trying they continued to put their faith in God. In Him they found meaningfulness, a way of life that is truly life as it was intended to be. This is the faith that I hold onto until this day, one of grace, love and transformation only found in Jesus Christ. A way of life in which I don't feel the need to fill my life full of meaningless things because those things no longer define me.....today I have peace knowing that I am only defined by Christ.
"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual act of worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
- Romans 12:1-2 ESV
2 comments:
Rich, I love you muchly...that was a lovely expression of a beautiful transformation and speaks of the joy of grasping difficulty full force and moving forward...reminds me of the Phoenix myth....we MUST dive down, crash/burn and rise again from the ashes to see the value of our lives.....very proud, very excited for you and wishing you always....the best! Hugs and loves, Mama T
Richard! That's great!!
You don't have to be fixed to come to God, come to him and he will fix you.
You're awesome!!
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