A Simple Prayer

Lord,


I know and recognize that I am sinful and that I have not lived a life guided by your truth and an honest relationship with you. I pray for your forgiveness for this; I open my heart and my life to you and your purposes. Recognizing that leaning on my own understanding and the ways of this world have lead me to numerous calamities and short fallings only showing me that in the end these were false idealologies and ficticious idols only there to fail. Lord, I place my faith firmly in you my Rock, recognizing that you are the only firm foundation amongst sinking sand. Place apon me your yoke and release from me the one that I cannot bear; release me from the resentments, shame, guilt and despair that are the results from a life lived from sin and cleanse me white as newly fallen snow! Lord, may I live in the realization that in you I am made new! My sins and past no longer define who I am for you have casted these things as far as the East is from the West! I am defined by you Lord and my relationship with you Lord! Something that nothing on earth has the power to take away, you have always been there and will always be there because your love for me knows no bounds.
    Lord help me to be reminded of who you are daily, may I look for you in everything I do. Lord may I proclaim your truth whrever I may go as a living testimony of your Grace, Love and Mercy. Lord, may you be glorified in everything I do, use me Lord just as you used the men of the Bible. Men who were not perfect, who had flaws and failings just like me, but that did not matter to you Lord because you use what is flawed to show your perfection. So Lord may I walk humbly and obediently with you so that I may be of most service to my family and the world around me. I love you Lord!

Amen

The 12th and Final

Well sadly it appears that Blogger was not able to recover my previous post from their recent crash; sad to see that work and journal entry just gone. Hmm...I guess it shows the reliability of the good old pen and paper, but then again if that would be the case I would not be able to share my experience strength and hope with the rest of the world! Not that the world is really following the blog anyways! But for those who are I am thankful and will continue on.

I am always amazed at the transformation that comes through Christ by working the 12 steps of Celebrate Recovery. I believe that the AA steps can be just as powerful as long as the PC name of "Higher Power" is the only true higher power Christ; without Christ the steps of any kind of recovery group are simply a moral and cognitive reconfiguration. Which can keep people sober I assume, however it lacks the all important  freedom of shame, guilt and oppression that so heavily burdens us from past sin. This freedom can only come from Christ, in the fifth step we release all the garbage of the past to Christ who then casts these things as far as the East is from the West, it is a complete release of sins in which millions over the last two thousand years have experienced. In the process of bearing our heart and soul to our true Counselor and Redeemer that we are made aware of his ever present love which is accompanied by his cleansing flow of grace and mercy. I have experienced this amazing spiritual experience and would equate it to a heart enema! I believe that this is the spiritual experience that the twelfth step explains in which we are born again to share this experience with others!

Everytime I look at society and even the whole world I realize just how much the rest of the world needs and cries out for this same experience! This is where the 12th step comes in, I cannot change the whole world by myself. However, God has given me a sphere of influence in which I do have an affect and therefore he does also through me. If I share my experience with others and I am obedient to practicing the principles laid out in the scriptures in all my affairs this has an impact on everyone around me. Maybe through me another hardened heart is opened to the truth of Christ and a life is transformed, well the sphere of influence just got a little bigger and it is through this process that the world is changed. Thankfully, in reading the Scriptures this morning I was able to see where I have been falling short of living the 12th step in many areas of my life. Some character defects and sins have been revealed which I have had to repent of and give over to Christ. One of the main things that I learned is that in my sphere of influence my wife and children are the ones who are closest to the core.

The Past is Daunting

I have been struggling with the past in the previous weeks...it always seems to happen when I am celebrating milestones, and on the 17th of December I celebrated four years sobriety. I think it must be something with reminiscing about the past, I am always just left in awe and amazed by the transformational work Christ has done in me. This year however is very different, I am not recalling events from the past which bring up certain feelings and emotions. I fought this for the first couple years of my sobriety and quickly learned to rebuke these feelings and take ownership of the power of Christ in me which releases me from the burden of the past.  Whats different this year, is that my thoughts and feelings seemed to be more collectively focused on certain people from the past rather than events and situations.


This new development has left me seeking God through prayer and meditation trying to gain understanding of what this may mean, and what action is needed on my part. Its odd, but I get a sense that it may be an indication that it is time to possibly reach out to these "freinds" and reconnect with them. I know that there are a few ammends still left to be made to a couple of these individuals so maybe an opportune time will present itself soon. So, eventhough I am optimistic about the opportunities that are soon to come, I am also apprehensive about the kinds of things within that will be stirred up. However, I know that Christ has brought me to where I am in life with all my past experiences and present experiences building me up in the faith enabling me to more efficiently minister and have an effect on those in my sphere of influence.


 Up to now I have pretty much disconnected from the past and surrounded myself with people strong in the faith and strong in recovery...I guess you could say "running with the pack". I know also that this in not excatly the calling of a Christian, we are to build one another up, love one another, and sing praises together; at the same point however it is not the healthy that are in need of a physician. I see this present stirring of feelings as a sort of nudge to get out in the community and let the light of what Jesus has done in my life shine onto those who are in the darkness. People I truly love and care about, ones who my heart utterly breaks for because I know all to well the struggles and toils they face in life. I think that I had to have the last four years the way they were so that Jesus could take me and form me into the man he needs me to be, now it is time to step out and share this with others. I love the Christian walk and the walk of recovery, with every season of life comes an opportunity to grow and an opportunity to branch out.