I am this big and God is THIS BIG!!

One of the greatest things I have experienced in my Christian walk is when I am humbeled by the Lord.  He is so gentle and so subtle in the ways in which he shows me that just when I think I have something figured out I will learn the opposite. For instance, I used to always be skeptical of people who would meet someone, date for awhile and then be married within a year. Then, when you would ask them about it all they would say is, "when you know," I what does that mean! right!? Well...here I sit engaged within two months and scheduled to be married before a year, 10 months to be exact. All I can say to this is when you know you know lol!! It is just amazing how the Lord will use real life situations to show me exactly how things are and how little I am. Another favorite of mine is when I am reading a book like the bible or listening to a preacher or speaker, when some little bit of truth cuts through all the stuff rolling around in my head and reveals to me this path that God has been tenderly leading me on. Eventhough along that path I had faced some really hard times, in the end it worked for the good. Its like a whole other aspect I didnt even see is revealed to me about a situation and I am reminded again at just how BIG! God is. Yet in his omnimpotence and omniprescence I still significantly matter to God and he loves me. I find such comfort in being able to trust God in that way, I know that through whatever I can hold onto my faith knowing that in whatever trials or storms I face I can find peace, serenity and rejoice in him.

Anyway I kind of got off the thought I really wanted to try and get out here. When these situations arise in my walk I notice on really major theme, I relied on my own understanding. Who am I to say that God could not bring two people together and place an amazing love in each of their hearts to a point of marriage. Who am I to allow my own perceptions, my own feelings about a situation govern my thoughts and ideas to a point where I have already come to a comclusion on how its all going to end or be. The answer is I am not God. When I allow myself to do this I am no longer trusting in God but I am trusting on my own understanding, then you know what happens to me? I, whether I know it or not, react in a way that is totally orchestrated with how I view or perceive the situation being or ending. Which is totally ridiculous sometimes because I am human I can only see things as they are right now, I do not have the ability God does to be able to hold life like a jeweler would a diamond and see and understand all the any facets of it. It is at these times where I can be treading in deep water if my motives and spiritual condition is not focused on the kingdom but is focused on Richard. It is where the dance of spiritual practices such as scripture, prayer and fellowship come in to try the best I can enable my will with that of God's. To be singing in the same tune of the spirit, so that God doesnt have to reach out and hit me with a 2x4 but instead just guides and finds me obediently following not thinking.

"So Abraham rose early in the morning . . . and went to the place of which God had told him" ( Genesis 22:3 ). Oh, the wonderful simplicity of Abraham! When God spoke, he did not "confer with flesh and blood" ( Galatians 1:16 ). Beware when you want to "confer with flesh and blood" or even your own thoughts, insights, or understandings— anything that is not based on your personal relationship with God. These are all things that compete with and hinder obedience to God.

-Oswald Chambers

My Utmost For His Highest